Bulletin 256 – She’s Leaving Home

It was a momentous occasion back in 1967 when the Beatles released their epic album ‘Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’. Hailed as their best ever, this album contains an eclectic mix of classics ranging from ‘When I’m 64’ (which seemed a long way off for Paul McCartney at the time), ‘A Day in the Life’, ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’ and ‘With a Little Help from my Friends’ not to mention the title track itself. But the track which I want to focus on here is the sad and sombre song ‘She’s Leaving Home’.

The news has gone quiet on the story that broke at the end of the school summer holidays that maths teacher Jeremy Forrest had run away with a pupil half his age, Megan Stammers. Forrest has now been charged with child abduction. This story must have sent shivers down the spine of many parents as they reflect on the chilling fact that every five minutes a child runs away from home in this country. But why do they do that? What provokes a happy, well-to-do teenager to turn away from the love and nurture of their parents to choose what they think will be a better life away from home?

This is precisely the question which Jesus’ most famous parable, ‘The Prodigal Son’, poses. Jesus gives us no background into the story, and neither would he as it is a parable. We are left to fill in the finer details ourselves. We can only guess at the disquiet in the young lad’s heart which provoked him to ask for his inheritance before his father had died. Was it bullying from his older brother? Was it favouritism from Dad towards his elder son? Was it constant nagging about the younger son’s laziness? None of this is spelt out – all we know is that he wanted to leave – he wanted his freedom – or what he thought was freedom.

The song by the Beatles focuses on the anguish faced by the parents when their daughter leaves home. They moaned that they had given their daughter the best they could and sacrificed most of their lives for her. Guilt wells up within them as they ask ‘what did we do that was wrong?’ The haunting background chant says ‘something inside that was always denied for so many years’. Are these the sentiments that Jesus had in mind when he painted the verbal picture of the Prodigal leaving home? Are these the feelings in the hearts of Megan Stammers’ parents as they watched TV footage of her in France with her maths teacher?

All of this shows not only that Jesus’ teaching, rather than being confined to a bygone era, is right up-to-date, but also that he has the deepest insights into the pain and anguish that we feel in everyday life. He must have felt the same when he watched the Rich Young Ruler walk away when confronted with the challenge of the gospel to sell all he had and give it to the poor. The same must have been true for God when he watched his chosen people in Old Testament times turn their backs on his glorious covenant provision and disobediently turn to worship other gods.

As we approach Christmas and ponder on what to buy as presents for our children or grandchildren, do we take lessons from these stories? Are we simply trying to feed our children with the latest toys and gadgets from Action Man to the latest iPad tablet computer? Do we have the best interest of our children at heart or are we simply seeking to win their favour with material goods rather than establishing the real bond of love which is so sadly missing in today’s society?

In the end, the pressures upon young people is overwhelming in today’s society. The bonds which once existed in community have given way to a closer bond on social networks. There is the constant attraction from the material and celebrity worlds where everything seems so full of promise and yet delivers so little of lasting happiness. As we pray for our children and grandchildren and smother them with real love, nothing can shield us from those unexpected mishaps in life when they turn away from the love we have given.
But the real challenge in the parable is how we react when common sense sets in. Luke 15:17 says, ‘when he came to himself’ or ‘when he came to his senses’. Eventually the young lad realises his mistakes and regrets the harm he has done to those who love him the most. Naturally he fears the worse retribution if he returns home, only to be surprised by the reception his father gives him. Is this the way we look upon people who have hurt us and shunned our best effort to love and care for them? Do we reflect the loving nature of God towards those who have made a mess of their lives? Sadly for some of us, our attitude reflects that of the elder brother who simply couldn’t bring himself to forgive his younger brother.

Bulletin 254 – Discipleship in Messy Church

On September 29^th 2012 Lucy Moore, who is credited with the founding and on-going development of Messy Church led a seminar at St. John’s College Bramcote on the theme of ‘Discipleship in Messy Church’. Messy Church, for those who don’t know, is a form of church which uses art, craft and story-telling to proclaim the gospel to families with a light meal as part of the event. It probably lasts for a couple of hours and often meets midweek or on a Saturday, perhaps late afternoon and ending with tea together. They tend to meet monthly and have attracted enormous congregations, even in churches which are dwindling and elderly.

Lucy started the day by making two very important assertions about Messy Church.

1. Messy Church is not just for children – it’s for families
2. Messy Church is not a ‘stepping stone’ into ‘normal’ church but aims to become a fully-fledged church in its own right

Why do people come to Messy Church?

This is an important question to ask, especially in an age when church-going is on the decline. There are a number of reasons:-

1. They like art, craft and story-telling
2. The like the food and the company
3. It’s something for the kids to do
4. It fills the time

We can’t, however, assume that people come because they want to become disciples of Jesus Christ. Some people may come with absolutely no intention of engaging with ‘the religious stuff’.

One attendee of the seminar made a very helpful suggestion that it would be good to have an ‘exploration stream’ running alongside Messy Church for those who do want to explore the faith further. This could be a short interlude during the 2 hour session which does not add to the time spent at Messy Church.

Lucy recently visited Denmark and was taken aback by a lady asking why ‘discipleship’ is such a big deal. She said to Lucy, ‘In Denmark we don’t do discipleship. 80% of people go to church and are baptised so we don’t need it’. Lucy responded to this by quoting Ven Stephen Pulllin (Archdeacon of Newcastle Diocese in New South Wales):-

• If you make a church you don’t necessarily make disciples
• If you make disciples you always make church

She also referred to a conversation that Bishop Paul Butler had with her about Messy Church when he said, ‘Messy Church needs to re-invent discipleship’. The comment from Denmark may surprise people but the same sentiment can be found in this country too. Church has all too often become a thing to ‘go to’ rather than a thing to ‘be part of’. Church should be a verb, not a noun.

Starting Point

So how does Messy Church work? What is your starting point?

1. Come as a family – Messy Church is not for children alone and does not operate like a Sunday School. Children come with their Mum (and Dad if possible) and they all stay throughout engaging together in the activities provided.
2. Monthly – most Messy Church events are monthly. To provide this on a more frequent basis would be exhausting.
3. People low on the Engel’s Scale – I will explain the Engel scale in a while but basically it is for people with little or no prior Christian awareness.
4. About relationship building – Messy Church does not ‘preach’ at people but shares the gospel through the medium of art, craft, story-telling and building relationships with the other people who attend or lead.
5. Children are significantly present – This may seem obvious but no one feels embarrassed if children make noise or run around, unlike in church services. In any family, it is the youngest members who get the most care and attention. So it is with Messy Church. It is a place where children can be children.

The Engel Scale and The Gray Matrix

James Engel, the missiologist, invented the ‘Engel Scale of Spiritual Decision’. This describes the way in which an individual, or by extension a whole group, progress in their understanding of the Gospel, as God’s sovereign grace begins to illuminate their hearts. By understanding the way God communicates, we can become better co-communicators.

Some have felt that the Engel Scale does not adequately describe a person’s journey of faith. The Gray Matrix supplements the Engel Scale by plotting a person’s openness to God.

The above diagram is from Paul Moore’s book ‘Growing Disciples in Messy Church’ BRF March 2013.

What the above diagram shows is the Engel Scale (vertical axis) along with the Gray Scale (horizontal axis). Traditionally the Engel Scale assumes that when a person’s knowledge and awareness of God moves up the scale from -7 to 0, the person has now become a Christian. Moving above 0 represents their growth as a disciple of Jesus Christ. However, it is a sad fact that some people progress well into the 0 – 4 range but may for some reason become disillusioned by the church or Christians and become closed to God. The aim in all discipleship work is to raise peoples’ awareness and understanding of God along with developing greater openness and obedience to his call upon their lives.

Formal, Non-Formal, Social Learning

Lucy showed a triangle (equilateral) which represented three types of learning.

1. Formal Learning – This is when we learn from preachers or Bible teachers either in church or in a Bible study group
2. Non-Formal Learning – This is where we learn the faith through activities like art, craft or story-telling. The setting and presentation is different and yet the truths of the gospel can be presented just as powerfully as through Formal Learning methods. For children, Non-Formal learning is arguably the most effective method.
3. Social Learning – This is where people interact with Christians and see how Christians respond to life’s challenges and problems. It is through this medium that people learn what it means to live out discipleship.

So, does Messy Church produce Disciples?

This is the 64,000 dollar questions. If people come purely for the social aspect and not to explore Christian faith, then should we spend time doing Messy Church? In reality, the process of becoming a disciple starts the moment they attend their first Messy Church. Lucy pointed out very strongly that although we rarely see people having a dramatic ‘Damascus Road Experience’ through Messy Church, nevertheless they are ‘becoming’ disciples. They are on the journey. It can take a long time for a person to move up the Engel Scale and grow to maturity as a Christian, even as long as 7 years. But we could also ask the question ‘does traditional church produce disciples?’ In some cases it doesn’t.

A person’s journey towards Christian maturity is rarely linear. There can be set backs along the way and it’s having a community around you that difficulties are overcome. Jesus built disciples in community, not one-to-one although he did have the occasional conversation in private.

Children are ‘models’ as well as fellow disciples. Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3)

Messy Church also recognises that both the journey towards faith and the ‘crisis moment’ are important but never belittles the person who cannot point to the date and time when Christ became real to them.

Also, Messy Church makes disciples out of both the attendees and the team who lead it. So often people grow in their faith when they engage in mission and evangelism, although people would not necessarily recognise Messy Church as evangelism.

Messy Church as Salvation

The story was told of a struggling, elderly congregation in Cornwall which decided that they had to choose between dying or having a last throw of the dice. They decided on the latter and chose, as a body to do Messy Church. The transformation was amazing and the church was saved from extinction.

But one of the most telling aspects of Messy Church is that it brings ‘church’ back to the family. So many Christian parents are embarrassed about teaching the faith to their children and yet, using the techniques of Messy Church, families can continue the experience at home in a natural way.

Conclusion

I have seen so many churches start Messy Church. Some have seen remarkable results, others have started well and struggled. But in an age where church-going is off the agenda, there is little doubt in my mind that Messy Church is one of the most effective ways of reaching those who don’t come to church and proclaim the gospel in ways which make sense. I am so grateful to Lucy Moore for all the energy she has invested in Messy Church and long may we see families worshipping together in this way.